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We noticed until then to be this independent, outgoing girl with an “optimistic character,” fixing problems by myself without relying on my man that I might have forced myself. Possibly I’d been attempting to show one thing, in this culture where individuals expect girls become submissive and quiet.
It’s been 2 yrs since our relationship finished. If only I could state my understanding brought me personally complete freedom from sex norms or objectives of other people, however it didn’t. We had doubts about whether I happened to be adequate a gf to him given that I became thinking about remaining an outbound, separate girl. The greater we mentioned our future, the greater amount of afraid we became that i would never be their perfect life partner. We continued fretting about whether i possibly could satisfy their buddies or moms and dads’ expectations of a “good girl.”
My worries are not the reason that is only parted methods, nonetheless they had been certainly one factor.
Dating him, among others before that, has allowed us to see my self-contradictions and insecurities. I’m self-conscious of my womanhood and independence. I will be high in contradictory desires, planning to be my own self, whatever which may be, but additionally planning to satisfy South Korean society’s criteria on which a woman that is proper be. Most of the social people i have actually met in school, at workplaces, also in the home have actually affected me personally. It dawns on me personally that my battle is not pretty much fighting South Korean men’s expectations of just how females need to act. We discovered that i have to fight my very own objectives for myself, too.
I’m nevertheless learning on how to balance society’s needs on females and my interior faculties. Nonetheless, now I’m certain we don’t need certainly to suppress my вЂgirlish’ impulses in wanting to be a separate girl. It’s Valentine’s Day, and I also am enjoying chocolate that is making my very own. I no further categorize this task being a womanly task. It is simply a hobby, that’s all. We additionally notice that alleged behaviors that are girlish aegyo and naesung are not the protect of females. Men may do these plain things equally well as females.
The revelations on my component might be uncomfortable for many Southern Koreans to keep. (they may state making chocolate is a woman’s pastime and guys never do aegyo or naesung.) But i have to thank the South men that are korean have dated — also those individuals who have been therefore critical of me — for leading me personally down this course of self-discovery. And I also enjoy fulfilling the next guy whom can help me find out more about whom I truly have always been.
